What nonno did next

We've swapped one crazy for another. At our new house the nonno who lives in the appartment above is a little dotty. The first morning I slept here I was woken early by him shouting at the top of his voice at his wife "Screw you, you've busted my balls this morning. I'm going out for a walk". That was the first sign that something was amiss. Then began the complaints about where E parked his car. "Don't park it outside my garden" he ordered us "I don't want to smell your car in my garden". "Si signore" we replied dutifully, then continued to park there (thinking he'd forget) as it was more convenient for me with my leg. A couple of days later he came to the door "Whose car is that? If it's yours you'd better move it, I don't want to smell it in my garden". A couple more instances like this and we realised this guy was serious about not having the smell of our stationary car in his garden.

Another essential housekeeping rule that us cretins were unaware of is that our letterbox outside the gate must always be emptied. If not it 'looks dirty' and nonno is likely to start trying to remove the contents by poking a small stick through the slit as E found him doing the other day.

As I write Nonno is walking up and down the garden. He stopped a little while ago to spend 5 minutes rearranging my crutches which I left in what was probably some objectionable configuration outside the front door. Being somewhat of an slapdash amatuer in the art of hanging out clothes, I am now terrified of the reaction my first washing load will provoke when my efforts are displayed outside the front door for Nonno to judge...!