The difference between an Italian and an Englishman

At school we teach that the more polite a person wants to be in English, the more words they must use in their question, so for example 'How old are you?' becomes 'Excuse me, would you mind me asking how old you are?'. The following is a very good example of English politeness in action compared with typical Italian directness. (If you are English, see if you too think the English exchange reminds you painfully of 'Fawlty Towers')

It's also very telling that in England the only time a stranger was able to face approaching a potentially embarassing conversation was when that stranger was drunk!

Setting: Bar, Italy

Italian stranger, staring: Oooh, that leg looks nasty, what did you do?
Me: Broke it in a scooter accident
Italian stranger: What did you break?
Me: Tibia and fibia
Italian stranger: Ouch. Happened to my brother once. Be carerful on scooters. Good luck then, bye!

Setting: Pub, England

Drunk English stranger: Wow, that's quite some contraption you've got there.
Me: Yes
DES: Look at all the bits coming out of your leg everywhere. Do you mind if I ask you what happened?
Me: No. I broke my leg in a scooter accident.
DES: Ah, doesn't sound too nice. Sorry, I don't mean to ask lots of questions, but when do you have to keep it on until?
Me: A couple more months probably.
DES: Sorry, I don't want to embarass you, I've just never seen something like this before. Sorry, is this really awkward?
Me: No, not particularly
DES: Sorry, you didn't want to talk about it did you?
Me: I don't mind, honest
DES: Look, if it makes it any less awkward I've been in hospital too
Me: Oh?
DES: Yes, I had a testicle removed
Me: Um. Oh.
DES: Oh God, now it's even more awkward. Sorry, are you embarassed? I just thought it might help to tell you about my hospital experience. I had to wear special pants for a month afterwards. God, I've made this really awkward haven't I?
Me: (speechless)
DES: Right, well, I must go. Sorry about all the questions. I didn't mean to be rude. Well, my friends are just over there, so...um, yeah, bye, nice to meet you.

Returning to Italy today.