Breakfast Rules

Want to know what I had for breakfast this morning? Probably not, but I'm going to tell you anyway. I had a cappuccino and a cornetto. And yesterday? Cappuccino and cornetto. And every day last week? Cappuccino and cornetto. Why don't I branch out and have something different? Well, um, I'm not entirely sure. Having rather too much time on my hands I've given this some thought and come to the conclusion that I've been inadvertantly sucked into the Italian 'order of things', a routine which can never be satisfactorily explained because it usually doesn't follow the rules of logic, but is nevertheless followed by almost everyone. Breakfast consists of some type of coffee and a sweet cake or pastry, and that's just the way it is. I'm only talking about breakfast here, but many aspects of life in Italy seem to be shaped by invisible sets of rules that are set in stone and extremely puzzling for the outsider.

With that in mind here's a troubleshooting guide to breakfasting in Italy:

Help! I am currently living in Italy and am fed up of being treated as a mad eccentric foreigner at the local bar. Can you advise me on breakfast bar etiquette?

Certianly. Firstly, unless you are elderly or it is the weekend you must always stand at the bar to eat your breakfast. This is also beneficial for your digestion. Secondly, don't let the locals push in when you are ordering, they will lose all respect for you. It's each for their own out there. Thirdly, make sure you are ordering the normal breakfast items- coffee and cornetto should be fine. It's as simple as that!

I don't have a particularly sweet tooth; is it acceptable to have one of those delicious looking sandwiches instead of something sweet?

Of course! Sandwiches are allowed after about 10am.

Last time I tried to order a sandwich and a coffee for breakfast I was scolded like a child. Now I am scared of trying this combination again. Please can you explain?

This is important: you must never combine coffee and sanwiches. You will have death-inducing digestion problems. Coffee and cornetti are SWEET, sandwiches and fruit juice (the only acceptable accompanying beverage for sandwiches) are SAVOURY.
(Just to let you know, it is ok to have an espresso (but no other type of coffee) after a sandwich, but now we're getting into lunch territory).

If I don't sweeten my coffee am I allowed both a sandwich and a coffee?

This is a pointless question, because as you should know everybody takes sugar in their coffee. You are destined to remain forever a mad eccentric foreigner at your local bar.