Another Day at the Ranch

We live with a disaster couple Marco (cousin of E) and Sonia who argue from morning to night. Marco is here without documents and waiting to marry Sonia (who is Romanian) so that he can live here legally. She is refusing to marry him because according to her he treats her like a skivvy while he goes out gambling with his friends spending all their money. But anyway, that is a story for another day.

Returning from work this afternoon Sonia, as usual, switched on the TV, made us a coffee, started chain smoking, and launced into a tirade against Marco. Being trapped as I am in the house I have become her unwilling confidante. (Not wanting to get involved in their disputes, I have learnt to employ a wide range of my newly-acquired Italian-style non-commital grunting noises and indifferent shrugs.) Just as today's tirade was coming to a climax ("I do everything for him, I even took my lawyer to get him out of jail the last time the carabinieri came, and what does he do for me? Asks me why his dinner's not on the table. Well vaffanculo!") the doorbell rang.

Enter a sheepish looking Marco...followed by two carabinieri. "We need to see all of your documents" said the fat one, taking a cigarette from the packet on the table. "Listen, I'm English, what do you want from me?" I asked (a bit of Italian assertiveness coming through). "Ok, nothing, you're fine" said the fat one, and started asking about my leg. Meanwhile the thin one with the bumbag disappeared with the others into their bedroom. Wondering what was going on, I made small talk about my leg cage with the fat caribiniera, and after a bit the others reappeared. The thin one with the bumbag picked up an empty shoebox, opened it and peered inside. "Ok" he said after a moment "let's go." And then to Marco: "we'll let you go this time, but hurry up with the wedding".

So what the hell happened? Turns out they were anti-drugs squad who go around searching out people who they think look shifty (foreigners, especially Albanians, would be at the top of the list) and then accompany them to their houses to look for drugs. Marco just got lucky that they were more interested in searching through old empty shoeboxes than enforcing immigration laws. This one should keep Sonia and I busy for the next few afternoons...