Part-time Foreigner

I'm off to England again in a few days, and preparing myself for yet another reverse culture shock experience. Believe me it's more stressful than you might imagine. Here are some things I did last visit that really marked me out as a part-time foreigner:

- Annoying hand gestures that have no significance whatsoever in England. For example the 'pull the other one' hand move where you kind of swirl your hand about in a circle in the air when someone is telling an outrageous anecdote or exaggerating a fact. How to recognise it and tell me to stop doing it: looks a bit like a backwards queen's wave.

- The 'boh' facial expression: Here 'boh' is an inescapable catch-all noise that is the equivalent of saying 'I don't know'. I have managed to cut down on my use of the word itself however the idiot facial expression is more difficult because at work I am bombarded with it from all angles by confused 'boh'ing students. Assume an extremely puzzled expression in the eyes, then pull down the corners of the mouth as far as they will go. Involuntarily your shoulders will now rise as far as your earlobes in a massive shrug. Got it? Good, now never do it again if you are not in Italy, it will earn you some very strange looks.

- Speaking to people on the train. I get on the bus in Italy. I have a broken leg. Poeple notice and help me find a place to sit. I get on the train in England. I get a seat. An old lady with a walking stick gets on and can't find a seat. People ignore her. I stand up and ask the carriage if there is a spare seat anywhere for the old woman. A horrified and embarassed silence fills the carriage. I have broken rule no.1 of public transport travel in England: do not speak to strangers unless there is a bomb about to explode on the train (and then only speak to politely ask them if they could move a bit more quickly towards the emergency exit).

The worst thing is as soon as I've re-acclimitasied I'm on my way back to Rome where I arrive and confuse everyone by saying 'sorry' every time I graze someone's arm and sitting politely with my hands in my lap throughout the most heated discussions.

There are many more of these mini reverse culture shocks, and I'm sure I'll be able to remember them and add them to the list when I return to Italy again.